Ask a Hater: "Smart" People

Dear Hater,

Why am I so smart and why is everyone else so stupid?

-Leah

Leah,

This is a question I often ask myself, well almost.  What I ask is, "Why is everyone so stupid?"  In truth, the only thing that makes me any smarter than most of them is the fact that I realize that everyone (including me) is at least a little selfish, short-sighted, ignorant, and bigoted, making us stupid by proxy.  I don't think that really qualifies me as "smart" but at least above average.  So I guess to answer your question, you're not really all that smart.  You're just too stupid to realize that.  Cheers!

-The Hater

Network

One of the greatest movies of all time and arguably the most prophetic.  For those who have seen it, Network isn't underrated at all.  It has one of the most memorable scenes in movie history and it won four major Academy Awards.  

Yet it is almost never on television and rarely talked about.  Which is pretty amazing considering it could practically be a documentary of how news networks operate today.

Paddy Chayefsky's screenplay looks back at that moment of time when reporting news stopped being about information and started being about the bottom line.  After a recent buyout, a major network manipulates the mad rants of their floundering news division's anchor into ratings gold.  Bringing the world forth into the age of corporate news.

Network was released in 1976.  With every major "free" news outlet in the western world owned by some major corporation this film should be required viewing (Time Warner owns CNN, News Corp. owns Fox, GE owns NBC, Disney owns ABC, Viacom owns CBS).

Network is one underrated flick.

Guitar Being a "Chick Magnet"

Now when I first started playing guitar about 11 years ago, I was pretty ignorant of this supposed perk.  I just thought it was cool and I could learn some Guns N' Roses songs.  Then one day, when I was hesitant about playing something for my sisters, one informed me.  And so I began to think, "This guitar thing could turn out to be a pretty awesome life choice."

Yeah, well 11 years down the road I can tell you, not so much.  I'm not saying I regret learning how to play guitar, I still like playing and yada-yada but as for a modus operandi for getting girls... its been less than an effective tool.

I mean, I've never really flaunted my guitar playing.  I didn't carry it around with me on campus, I didn't open up conversations with "Hey, I'm a guitarist.  How you doin'?"  When I played for other people I usually played original songs - significantly cutting back on sing-a-long opportunities.

You lied to me Jon Bon Jovi.

But, when I think about it, I can only ever recall one time when a girl was into me just after seeing me play guitar (and she was kind of a nasty skank).  I mean, sure, guitar has helped me close the deal after a girl is already interested, but that doesn't count.

It's particularly useless when you're in a bar filled with other musicians.  Then things just boil down to physical appearance, or God forbid, talent.

Kid Rock proves that fame will always outweigh talent and cleanliness.

I'm not saying that a girl is going to suddenly not like you if you drop the "by the way, I play guitar" line on her.  But as for being a "Chick Magnet" guitar, you're overrated.