The League Showdown! FINALS!

Here it is.  The final showdown.  Ruxin vs. Rafi.  The Unscrupulous Litigator vs. the Windy City Mad Man.  Who will take home the Shiva?

Match Up:

The battle between Rodney and his Bro-lo el Cunado comes down to one thing, all around performance against sheer unstoppable comedic prowress.  Rafi is the undisputed comedy champion of The League.  There might not be anything funnier than him screaming the accidental battle cry "Gattaca!" at Kevin's crotch moments after having Ruxin's son punch him.  Rafi is the only character to score a perfect 10 of 10 in both comedic categories (supply and output).  Everything he touches turns to comedy gold.

But Rafi's weaknesses are Ruxin's strengths.  Where Rafi has very little to do with the various plots of The League, Ruxin is featured prominently in every episode.  Even in episode where he is not the central figure he often plays a significant role as an antagonist to Kevin or Pete (not so much Andre, who often foils himself).  Ruxin ends up being ranked second highest in the "plot" ranking categories of significance and complexity behind only Kevin.  Rafi meanwhile finishes 2nd to last squeaking out ahead of the combined forces of Elli/Sofia/Shiva who are all entirely one dimensional secondary characters.

What it ultimately comes down to is whether Rafi's comedic value can make up for his deficencies in importance.  But before we answer, here is how everyone else finished on points.

Pete

Significance (1-7): 3

Complexity (1-5): 3

Comedic Supply (1-10): 4

Comedic Output (1-10): 7

Greatest Moment (1-5): Crying when Brooklyn Decker dumps him, 2

Total: 19 points

Ellie/Sofia/Shiva

3

1

8

4

Greatest Moment: Shiva Blast, 4

Total: 20 points

Taco

4

1

8

5

Greatest Moment: Ellie's Birthday Song, 3

Total: 21 points

Jenny

4

4

6

4

Greatest Moment: Sexy Frog Dance, 4

Total: 22 points

Andre

4

4

10

7

Greatest Moment: "I'm inside me!", 3

Total: 28 points

Kevin

7

5

6

7

Greatest Moment: Bobbum Man, 4

Total: 29 points

Which finally brings us to Rafi and Ruxin.  Ruxin absolutely crushed Rafi in both Significance and Complexity with scores of 6 and 3 (9 total) vs. Rafi's 3 and 2 (5 total).  But in the categories of Supply and Output Rafi makes up the difference besting Ruxin's numbers of 8 and 8 (29 total) with a perfect 10 and 10 (29 total).  And so that makes us tied going into the final category of greatest moment.  Which had Rafi come down with an impressive 4 out of 5 points.  But Ruxin would not be denied and scored a perfect 5 out of 5 for his moment: The stroke walk.

Now before we examine the Great Moment that earned Ruxin this Shiva, we must allow a brief moment so that he may celebrate his victory:

Rafi's crowning moment was difficult to choose, partly because he doesn't have many great "moments".  Rafi's true greatness lies in his one liners, "I'm gonna go crap the booze out" or "Jukebox, I'm gonna put seven dollars worth of Hoobastank in it!".  I finally settled for what was really one of the only Rafi central subplots of the show:  His Mayan 2012 themed porno. A solid moment that features one of his best one-liners, to NFL great Deion Sanders no less, delivered with an envious grin "I don't know who you are, but you're about to get chlymydia".

This is the hidden value of being a more significant character, the opportunities for greatness are so much more frequent.  Ruxin's stroke walk was not only one of the most memorable and important moments of the show but it was also set up perfectly and beautifuly hilarious (especially impressive when considering how NOT funny strokes usually are).

The reign of Ruxin may be dark and horrible for all to endure, but it was well earned.

Congratulations, Rodney.  Enjoy your Shiva.

The League Showdown! Semifinals!

Here we are at the final four!  Kevin vs. Ruxin and Taco vs. Rafi.  Good vs. evil, the McArthur boys vs. the Axis of Ruxin.  Who will go to the Shiva Bowl?

Kevin vs. Ruxin

Even though the show opened with the buddy dynamic of Kevin and Pete firmly front and center by season two, the focus of the show had principally broken down into two camps:  Kevin/McArthur family episodes and Ruxin/Ruxin family episodes.  In one camp sat Taco, Jenny, and Ellie.  In the other Rafi, Sofia, and the too rarely used Father Ruxin (and baby Jeffery, although, he doesn't do very much).

Kevin is the emotional center of the show, the one that the audience is meant to and - usually - does root for.  He either has his own or is closely involved in someone elses storyline every episode.  Ruxin's single minded desire to rule the league with an iron fist is the perfect foil for Kevin's worrisome attack of concious.

Kevin tops Ruxin in both character importance and complexity, but Ruxin has very strong comedic metrics.  His character revels in villainy and it makes him all the more entertaining.  In the end, Kevin might be the more central and likable character, but much like his quests for the Shiva Bowl, he can't manage to beat Ruxin's scheming.

Winner: Rodney Ruxin.

Taco vs. Rafi

Alright, I have a confession to make:  I think Taco is overrated.  Not just overrated but way over loved.  Female fans of the show find his cluelessness and shaggy appearance adorable.  Men want to be him because of his inexplicable ability to casually pick up gorgeous women despite constantly either being unemployed or homeless (or both) and the fact that he probably has an IQ somewhere around 60.  I can't even name all the people I've met who claim that they're "The Taco" of their fantasy football league.  They say it as though they're bragging, but much like the character himself, they don't seem to realize they're calling themselves a clueless moron that would probably wind up dead or institutionalized within three months in the real world.

I'm not saying we should hold Taco to the standards of "reality" when we judge him as a character.  Rafi more than any other character needs the viewer to suspend their disbelief in order to accpet his actions.  Rafi is a psychotic sociopath that frequently advocated murder, rape, and various other forms of violent crime.  We accept this in Rafi because, first and foremost, no one actually ever gets hurt (at least not seriously) because of his actions and his recklessness is so absurd and unrealistic that you have laugh if just for the shock value.  The difference between Rafi and Taco is that the audience doesn't seem to even realize how much of an idiot Taco is.  He lives a charmed existence, no question, but nearly that everything that happens around him on the show is either beyond his control or understanding.

It's not that I have a grudge against Taco, he's alright, I just don't see what the appeal is other than that he's a good looking guy who gets laid a lot.  He constantly is dishonest, steals from, and tries to manipulate his friends and family to get what he wants, at least Rafi is honest (part of the genius of Rafi is how oblivious he is to how crazy and inappropriate his actions and opinions are).

When it comes down to it, neither character is especially integral to the story of the show usually occupying supporting roles in storylines.  Both characters are almost wholly one-dimensional used almost as plot devices rather than motivated characters.  The difference between the two is ultimately that Rafi is the single funniest character on the show and Taco, well, Taco is overrated.

Winner: Rafi

Don't believe me?  Here is a video of Rafi's greatest moments.  Even though they're out of context they're still hilarious.  Want to see Taco's best of video?  You can't, he doesn't have one.