Rated Wrong's Guide to Online Dating - Part 2 - Your Dating Options

So, now that you know how to look respectable online we've come to the second quesiton of online dating:  Where to put your respectable profile.

There are a lot of choices.  All are good.  All are bad.  All are different.

Here is a breakdown of the many different ways you can go.

OKCupid (Online Dating for Poor People)

Type: Free Site (with pay benefits)

MY EXPERIENCE:

Membership Length: Several Years

Number of Dates: 15+

The most established of your free options, and the best.

Highly customizable and a fantastic layout make the site easy to navigate and optimal for getting to know your potential dates.

The greatest flaw of OKCupid comes with one of its biggest selling points:  it's free.  Free dating sites tend to attract more lurkers and creeps.  The free aspect also means you get a lot of people not really interested in meeting so you can waste a lot of time reading about and talking to people that won't ever go out with you.

Match.com (Online dating for old people)

Type: Pay Site

MY EXPERIENCE:

Membership Length: seven months

Number of Dates: 3

The OG dating site.  It was what people used for online dating before it was cool.  For the more serious and sophisticated individual.  Which is all true, but it doesn't translate into more dates.

While, OKCupid's best feature is its personalization, Match goes the route of connections.  Every facet of Match is designed around putting people profiles in front of you, encouraging you to meet somebody.  While this helps you see as many potential dates as possible, it doesn't do much for getting to know them.  "You both like books!" is a great example of a completely sincere attempt by Match's dating gods to get you to talk to someone.  Even for those who believe the only way to really get to know someone is to meet them, it's a bit sparse.

Tinder (Hot or Not dating app)

Type: Free App

Membership Length: 5 Months

MY EXPERIENCE:

Number of Dates: 3

The no frills dating site.  it says "Hey we know you only care about the pictures anyway."  It's no frills dating site.  Do you like this face?  Want to kiss it?  Then swipe right.

Features an incredibly high percentage of ridiculously good looking people on it compared to other sites and apps.  Of course, none of them will ever go out with you, but its nice to see them.  

Biggest problem: Girls are notoriously picky on tinder and guys are the opposite.

Happn (Not as Good Tinder...It might be French)

Type: Free App (With Pay Benefits)

MY EXPERIENCE:

Length of Use: 4 Months

Number of Dates: 0

A lot like Tinder but with a worse interface.  Only shown people that were in the same place as you recently.

Bristlr (Tinder but only with beards)

Type: Free App (with pay benefits)

MY EXPERIENCE:

Length of Use: 3 weeks

Number of Dates: 1

Like Tinder but for guys with beards.  More fun than Happn but the interface is atrocious.

Controversial No Call in Detroit - Dallas Playoff Game as Dez Bryant Runs on the Field, Attempts to Kiss Referee

Dez Bryant getting rejected by referee Lee Dyer

The NFL playoffs began this past weekend and no game was more highly anticipated than the NFC matchup between the Detroit Lions and Dallas Cowboys.  The game did not disappoint as the two sides tangled in a close matchup that left the Dallas Cowboys victorious over the hard luck Lions.

But the game was not without controversy.  No moment was more talked about than when, late in the game, during a pivotal moment Cowboys wide receiver Dez Bryant was overcome with passion and attempted to run onto the field and give a deep loving kiss to referee Lee Dyer.

Dyer, a pillar of professionalism, quickly waved off Bryant's romantic overtures and gestured for him to return to the sideline.  Still, many pointed out that just because Bryant's attempted make out sesh failed to be consummated did not mean there should not have been a flag on the play.

"He is an offensive player not coming in as a substitute." Analyst and former NFL coach Tony Dungy observed.  "There is no reason he is out there other than to... (kiss referee Lee Dyer full on the mouth, French style) . Every official should have thrown a flag at that point. At the very least it should have been another 15-yard penalty. And there is no way you can justify not calling that.”

Several analysts agreed with Dungy's assessment.

ESPN columnist Kevin Seifert clearly mapped out the rule in the official NFL rulebook prohibiting on-the-field necking in his Inside Slant article.  "Rule 12, Section 3, Article 1(jk) prohibits "removal of a helmet by a player in the field of play or the end zone during a celebration or demonstration or during a confrontation or with the purpose of planting a big wet one on a game official or any other player."

Tony Romo was asked about the moment after the game and whether or not it would be used as a tactic to unnerve the Green Bay Packers next week in Lambeau but Romo, played it coy.  "Oh, wow... I haven't been thinking, to be honest I've just been so wrapped up in tonight I haven't thought one bit about that.  We'll have to see."

Many players did not share in Romo's elation at Bryant's brazen public display of affection.  The Detroit Lions defense became so jealous of Lee Dyer that they completely fell apart.  Committing penaly after penalty on the games deciding drive.

"You're out there with the guy.  Trying to grab him, get him on the ground all game and that's who he goes after?  It's hurts a little, you know?  You feel a little betrayed." Lions safety Don Carey said afterwards.

One person particularly distraught was Lion's defensive player Ndamukong Suh.

Suh was so utterly crushed that he was not the target of Bryant's aborted love revolution he struggled to hold back tears of disappointment during his post-game press conference and ultimately had to excuse himself so that he could weep in a physical state of solitude so as to match his emotional state of heartbreak.

In his own post game press conference, Dallas coach Jason Garret downplayed Bryant's effort to recreate the tongue dancing scene from Top Gun.  "Emotions were running high and Dez is an emotional guy.  We'll sit down with him and talk about when it is appropriate to do those type of things and when it is not."

Whether or not this was simply a random flirtation for Bryant, he can be sure that he found at least two allies in his effort to liberate the NFL from the chains of love as Cowboys owner Jerry Jones and New Jersey Governor Chris Christie were briefly shown initiating a raucous orgy in the owner's box suite.  Whether or not this orgy was a form a celebration for the win or  simply a part of Jones' and Christie's Satanic worship rituals was not clear.

Jones and Christie prepare for their orgy with an unknown third individual likely to be used as human sacrifice to their lord and savior, The Prince of Darkness.

*Requests for comment from the Cowboys Organization or Governor Chris Christie were not returned.

Shia LaBeouf Has Made The Greatest Comeback Ever (Without Really Doing Anything)

Six months ago, Shia LaBeouf was public persona non grata numero uno about town.  He'd gotten drunk, punched in the face, did Transformers 3, got arrested, plagiarized, plagiarized again, put a bag on his head, got really drunk, got arrested again, and declared he wasn't famous anymore.

Well, if there is one thing that is true in Hollywood it's that you do not get to decide if you are famous.

This DIDN'T kill his career

In the past I have been back and forth on Shia.  I never thought he was a bad actor, but he did have a knack for somehow always being on an upward trajectory despite appearing in several crappy movies and multiple run ins in the law for dopey behavior.  A favorite thing to say to actor friends on their birthdays was that no matter how old they ever got they would never be as famous as Shia LaBeouf.

But now, without seeing him act in anything since Wallstreet: Money Never Sleeps, I find myself with a new opinion of Mr. LaBeouf:  he's awesome.

Okay, so my actual take on him is a little more complex than that, but there is no denying how entertaining Shia has been of late.  Just by being himself.

I mean, sure, Shia did put out a movie this past week called Fury also starring Brad Pitt and it is getting pretty good reviews (80% of RT).  A lot of what Shia has done the past few weeks in his media blitz could ostensibly be attributed to promoting Fury but upon closer inspection it is clear there has only been one goal:  The resurrection of the LaBeouf.

First there was this charming tale of misdemeanor debauchery on Kimmel:

Regardless of where you stand on his antics, you have to admit, he spins a good yarn.  Even Alan Cumming agrees.

Now this story by itself, coupled with positive buzz around Fury, was enough to get Shia back in the black.  But Shia wasn't done.

Shia lended his name and face to a Rob Cantor live performance that can only be described as transcendent.  A song all about a chance(?) encounter with the crazed cannibal Shia LaBeouf which quickly becomes a battle of life and death in a secluded forest.  It has a gay men's choir, a children's choir, ballet dancers, a woman performing with aerial silks, paper mache heads, and the myth himself.

Watch it below and submit to the reign of Shia LaBeouf.