The League Showdown! Matchup #4

Taco vs. The World!

Taco vs. Ellie/Sofia/Shiva

Taco

Taco is probably the most beloved character of The League.  Every fan of the show either wants to be him or wants their companion to be more like him.  He is the worry-free, luckstruck, ladies man that never has any idea what is going on and is all the better for it.  His greatest comedic strength comes in the form of his musical creations, with perhaps his greatest achievement coming in the very first episode.

 Taco does have some weaknesses.  He is a little bit of a one dimensional character and he is rarely a significant character in plot lines, favoring the color commentary role over the play by play.  Even so, His good looks and care free approach to life have never disappointed him yet (mostly because he's not paying attention, but superfluous!)

Ellie/Sofia/Shiva

Because of the lack of an even number of major characters on the show, I have been forced to pit Taco against the combined force of the three most common reoccuring characters of the series:  Kevin and Jenny's daughter, Ellie, Ruxin's hot wife, Sofia, and the woman who represents both sucess and a dream of youth lost, Shivakamini Somakandarkram!!!!

Just becuse these characters suffer from a lack of personal screen time or significance doesn't mean they don't have their value.  The comedic ingenuity is largely supplied by Ellie who is beautifully hilarious nearly every time she utters a line on camera with her "Ruxin/Kegel the Elf" scene going down as the strongest comedic moment for any of these characters.  Sofia brings in the relevance, playing a major role in many a Ruxin moment.

Shiva, well, Shiva may not provide a lot direct laughs or be a major on-screen presence, but would there be any league at all without Shiva?

I think not.

Conclusion

Many would probably think this matchup would end up being a blow out.  Many would be wrong.  The triforce of Ellie/Sofia/Shiva is responsible for many unforgettable moments on this show while Taco does have his weaknesses.  He comes up short in the one-liners department and he also the least interesting or relevant member of the league.  Still, his cluelessness wins out for him once again as it ends up being the very thing to propel him to the next round.

Winner: Taco McArthur

The League Showdown! Matchup #3

Today a domestic brawl!

Kevin vs. Jenny

The most functional relationship (romantic or otherwise) doubles as one of the greatest rivalries of The League.  I just want to say before we go any further that I really like Kevin and Jenny as a couple.  They have great chemistry, a good dynamic, and they're both relatable.  But this is a Showdown not a five course dinner party and only one McArthur can come out of this alive!

Kevin

What's good about Kevin?  Well, right off, we have the same name.  Actually, I'm not sure if that works in his favor.  He is the closest thing the series has to a protagonist, coming oh-so-close to that victory he desires so badly only to get routinely thwarted by his various nemsises on the one yard line.  Kevin is the everyman like Pete, but he languishes in impotence (metophorical) and self doubt enough for us to empathize with him but not enough for us to hate him for being a weak whiney baby.  What fantasy footballer hasn't experienced THIS before?

Kevin is also one of the more complex characters of the show, in large part because he seems to be the only one with any semblance of a traditional moral center.  Thanks to his vast collection of ...For Dummies books he is in so shortage of comic supply for his compatriots.  Oh yeah, and he invented the Shiva Blast.

Jenny

Jenny could very easily be the most underrated character of The League.  Sure, she isn't flashy.  She's never going to have an entire episode dedicated to her personal shenannigans.  Her one-liner supply is more limited than the guys because she isn't in as many group scenes.  Though she does have her share of memorable quips:

Ruxin: Why are you dressed like a whore?

Jenny: I dressed like your wife to get in here.

Ruxin: (Raises hand) Fives.

Jenny is like a change of pace running back or Derelle Revis.  A lot of what she does won't show up on the scoreboard but she's invaluable to sucess of the team.  She is maybe the only character that we see on a consistent bases try to balance being a fantasy football godess with a good parent and wife.  A task complicated by the fact that she's better at fantasy than her husband.

Conclusion:

Jenny has made her mark on The League by being the dominant force in the McArthur household, both on and off the field.  Many a time has Kevin been relegated to holding her purse or lip gloss while Jenny sets off to defend the family honor from the invading hordes (Ruxin).  But does Jenny's empowering righteousness really make her a more enjoyable character than the lovably pathetic Kevin?  My heart wants to say yes, but the numbers don't lie and Kevin bests her in every category but complexity.  Congratulation, Kevin, your Shiva Bowl dream live on!

Winner: Kevin McArthur

The League Showdown! Matchups 1 and 2

Site still under renovation but the show must go on (again) over here at Rated Wrong!  The League is arguably the best comedy on cable TV these days and the show can credit it's sucess in no small part to it's tremendous cast.  But which member of The League's league take's the Shiva home for Most Valuable Character?  Well, I have set aside precious time from my life - that I will never get back - to explore just such a question and share the results with all the millions upon millions of you out there on the interwebs who may accidentally stumble onto RatedWrong.com.

The Criteria

Relevance: scale 1-7

Complexity: scale 1-5

Comic Ingenuitety: scale 1-10 (This is a rating of how clever and amusing the schemes and gags pulled by a given character are)

Comic Supply: scale 1-10 (This is a rating of how funny a given character makes those around them

Signature Moment: Up to 5 bonus points for the epicness of a character's signature moment.

 (Complete point breakdowns shall remain confidential until the finals)

To the Matchups!

Ruxin Vs. Andre

Starting off with possibly the most difficult decision of the entire contest.  Ruxin, the ultimate, unapologetic, doesn't-care-how-many-bridges-he-burns-as-long-as-he-gets-what-he-wants schemer vs. the painfully, absurdly, hilariously oblivious Dre.

Ruxin

Ruxin is the closest thing the show has to a featured villain.  He has thrown all of his dearest friends under the bus, every bus, any bus to win and has never once questioned his methods.  Ruxin revels in his dastardliness, which makes him all the more enjoyable to watch.  It also can't count against him that most of his schemes, while immoral, are utterly genius.  Making it that much more enjoyable when all of his wicked plans blow up in his face.

He's willing to go darker and edgier with his one-liners than Pete or Kevin, giving him a leg up on both of them. Like this:

Taco: [on the redone league trophy with a small statue of Andre] Why doesn't it have a penis?

Ruxin: Oh, because it's anatomically correct, Taco.

He has a very hot wife that it actually feels plausible for him to be with.  He brings Rafi into the fold thanks to their familial bond.

The only thing working against Ruxin is that, even though you love to hate him, when it's all over you still hate him.

Andre

Of all the characters in The League, Andre is by far the greatest supplier of comedy (Scoring a perfect "10" in that category).  Not because of his rapier's wit, any brilliant pranks, not even because of Crawdad Man (which is great), but because of his love of all things Ed Hardy.

Andre is hilarious for three reasons: his desperate need for acceptance, his complete cluelessness, and his wardrobe.  If you should ever find yourself doubting the comedic value of an undersized fedora, watch the below video and have ye faith restored.

Andre doesn't tell great jokes, he is the great joke.

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Conclusion

So who has more value to the team?  Well, both are Shivabowl winners but Ruxin is the more relevant character with practically the entire third season dedicated to the rest of the league conspiring to dethrone him.  Both characters are equals in the complexity category with Ruxin finding a balance between his ruthlessness and still managing to have any loved ones in his life and Andre's insecurities always partly visible underneath a thin layer of false confidence.  Ruxin is the more ingenius trickster.  As previously mentioned, Andre's ability to set up great comedic moments is unparalled, but this doesn't give him the boost he might hope since the character he is setting up is often Ruxin.  So what we have here is a battle between a great QB and his #1 WR, and as anyone knows, in fantasy the QB gets 4 points for a touchdown pass but the reciever gets 6 for a catch.

WINNER: Rodney Ruxin

Rafi vs Pete

Next up we have the everyman, Pete, vs. the utterly insane, disgusting, knife wielding Rafi.  No two characters could be more archetypally at odds.  Pete, the most grounded, wry, empathetic character on the show.  Rafi, a character so outrageous, so devoid of any sense of human decency, that he could only exist in fiction.

Rafi

I dreaded seeing Rafi on screen when he was first introduced.  His screen time only figured a few minutes each show and his plot involvement was (and still is) usually limited to the other characters thinking up creative ways to ditch him but every time he did show up cringe worthy shenanigans were virtually guaranteed to be in the very near future.  But once the initial shock of his complete depravity wears off no one can debate the fact that Rafi is hilarious.  He's the funniest character on the show, period.  Part of the genius of the character of Rafi is how he manages to be so despicable and yet strangely likable.  I don't think anyone would really want to have Rafi for a friend (perhaps marginally better than having him as an enemy) but his enthusiasm and commitement to his "friends" in the league is legitametly endearing in a strange way.  No matter the destruction he attempts to wrought on the other characters, he somehow always thinks he's helping.  And Rafi truly loves "helping" others.

Pete

I hate Pete.

It's not that I don't think he has the occaisionally funny one-liner, or he isn't a siginificant character on the show.  He is.

No, the reason I hate Pete is because of all the outrageously beautiful women that he not only dates on the show, but seem to just flock to him.  Sure, other characters get hot dates, but in Andre's case they always have some sort of insufferable flaw.  With Taco and Rafi, their characters are so unrealistic that we don't question it.  Kevin and Jenny feels real and it is constantly acknowledged on the show that Sofia is much too hot for Ruxin.  Only with Pete, is audience supposed to watch him get Victoria's Secret model after Victoria's Secret model and think "yeah, I can see her going for him."  No, I refuse to accept that.

Conclusion

Is this section even necessary?  Even if I didn't loathe Pete for his absurdly beautiful dates he still couldn't overcome the comedic value of Rafi, which is through the roof in just about every category.

WINNER: Rafi

Up Next:  Kevin vs. Jenny and Taco vs. Everyone!