The League Showdown! Matchups 1 and 2

Site still under renovation but the show must go on (again) over here at Rated Wrong!  The League is arguably the best comedy on cable TV these days and the show can credit it's sucess in no small part to it's tremendous cast.  But which member of The League's league take's the Shiva home for Most Valuable Character?  Well, I have set aside precious time from my life - that I will never get back - to explore just such a question and share the results with all the millions upon millions of you out there on the interwebs who may accidentally stumble onto RatedWrong.com.

The Criteria

Relevance: scale 1-7

Complexity: scale 1-5

Comic Ingenuitety: scale 1-10 (This is a rating of how clever and amusing the schemes and gags pulled by a given character are)

Comic Supply: scale 1-10 (This is a rating of how funny a given character makes those around them

Signature Moment: Up to 5 bonus points for the epicness of a character's signature moment.

 (Complete point breakdowns shall remain confidential until the finals)

To the Matchups!

Ruxin Vs. Andre

Starting off with possibly the most difficult decision of the entire contest.  Ruxin, the ultimate, unapologetic, doesn't-care-how-many-bridges-he-burns-as-long-as-he-gets-what-he-wants schemer vs. the painfully, absurdly, hilariously oblivious Dre.

Ruxin

Ruxin is the closest thing the show has to a featured villain.  He has thrown all of his dearest friends under the bus, every bus, any bus to win and has never once questioned his methods.  Ruxin revels in his dastardliness, which makes him all the more enjoyable to watch.  It also can't count against him that most of his schemes, while immoral, are utterly genius.  Making it that much more enjoyable when all of his wicked plans blow up in his face.

He's willing to go darker and edgier with his one-liners than Pete or Kevin, giving him a leg up on both of them. Like this:

Taco: [on the redone league trophy with a small statue of Andre] Why doesn't it have a penis?

Ruxin: Oh, because it's anatomically correct, Taco.

He has a very hot wife that it actually feels plausible for him to be with.  He brings Rafi into the fold thanks to their familial bond.

The only thing working against Ruxin is that, even though you love to hate him, when it's all over you still hate him.

Andre

Of all the characters in The League, Andre is by far the greatest supplier of comedy (Scoring a perfect "10" in that category).  Not because of his rapier's wit, any brilliant pranks, not even because of Crawdad Man (which is great), but because of his love of all things Ed Hardy.

Andre is hilarious for three reasons: his desperate need for acceptance, his complete cluelessness, and his wardrobe.  If you should ever find yourself doubting the comedic value of an undersized fedora, watch the below video and have ye faith restored.

Andre doesn't tell great jokes, he is the great joke.

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Conclusion

So who has more value to the team?  Well, both are Shivabowl winners but Ruxin is the more relevant character with practically the entire third season dedicated to the rest of the league conspiring to dethrone him.  Both characters are equals in the complexity category with Ruxin finding a balance between his ruthlessness and still managing to have any loved ones in his life and Andre's insecurities always partly visible underneath a thin layer of false confidence.  Ruxin is the more ingenius trickster.  As previously mentioned, Andre's ability to set up great comedic moments is unparalled, but this doesn't give him the boost he might hope since the character he is setting up is often Ruxin.  So what we have here is a battle between a great QB and his #1 WR, and as anyone knows, in fantasy the QB gets 4 points for a touchdown pass but the reciever gets 6 for a catch.

WINNER: Rodney Ruxin

Rafi vs Pete

Next up we have the everyman, Pete, vs. the utterly insane, disgusting, knife wielding Rafi.  No two characters could be more archetypally at odds.  Pete, the most grounded, wry, empathetic character on the show.  Rafi, a character so outrageous, so devoid of any sense of human decency, that he could only exist in fiction.

Rafi

I dreaded seeing Rafi on screen when he was first introduced.  His screen time only figured a few minutes each show and his plot involvement was (and still is) usually limited to the other characters thinking up creative ways to ditch him but every time he did show up cringe worthy shenanigans were virtually guaranteed to be in the very near future.  But once the initial shock of his complete depravity wears off no one can debate the fact that Rafi is hilarious.  He's the funniest character on the show, period.  Part of the genius of the character of Rafi is how he manages to be so despicable and yet strangely likable.  I don't think anyone would really want to have Rafi for a friend (perhaps marginally better than having him as an enemy) but his enthusiasm and commitement to his "friends" in the league is legitametly endearing in a strange way.  No matter the destruction he attempts to wrought on the other characters, he somehow always thinks he's helping.  And Rafi truly loves "helping" others.

Pete

I hate Pete.

It's not that I don't think he has the occaisionally funny one-liner, or he isn't a siginificant character on the show.  He is.

No, the reason I hate Pete is because of all the outrageously beautiful women that he not only dates on the show, but seem to just flock to him.  Sure, other characters get hot dates, but in Andre's case they always have some sort of insufferable flaw.  With Taco and Rafi, their characters are so unrealistic that we don't question it.  Kevin and Jenny feels real and it is constantly acknowledged on the show that Sofia is much too hot for Ruxin.  Only with Pete, is audience supposed to watch him get Victoria's Secret model after Victoria's Secret model and think "yeah, I can see her going for him."  No, I refuse to accept that.

Conclusion

Is this section even necessary?  Even if I didn't loathe Pete for his absurdly beautiful dates he still couldn't overcome the comedic value of Rafi, which is through the roof in just about every category.

WINNER: Rafi

Up Next:  Kevin vs. Jenny and Taco vs. Everyone!