Rating Grantland's Rating of Weezer

For the Grantland article rating all things Weezer click HERE.

For about a year or so now the sports and popculture website Grantland, of which I am a big fan, has run a column called "_________ Overrated, Underrated, or Rated Right", sound familiar?

Now, I'm not claiming somebody at Grantland saw my website and decided to steal my concept (because I don't think they did).  Is it possible they saw the site and thought they'd incorporate the idea in their own writing?  Yeah sure.  But even that I kind of doubt.  

While many may try to rate the pop culture catalogue of the world, only I can do it with the refined snark that the common people love.

But this time they went and tackled a favorite topic of mine:  Weezer.

Yes, with the release of Weezer's new album, resident Grantland music man, Steven Hyden, took it upon himself to rate the various albums and phases and past times of Weezer.  Being the student of the bespectacled rock band that I am, I could not sit idly by with out throwing my hat into the ring.

*note* I'm only going to give basic breakdowns explaining why I disagree or agree with Hyden's take on things here as I've already shared my feelings on Weezer several, SEVERAL times on Rated Wrong, including on a Gentlemen's DisAgreement podcast.  Just search Weezer in the search bar if you're curious.

First, the picture.  Classic pop-art colorscheme Grantland uses for a lot of their pieces.  It looks good.  What I really love about it is that House Greyjoy shirt Scott Shriner is rockin' at the top center of the collage.  Game of Thrones and Weezer, it does not get any better than this folks.

Hyden then opens up talking about Weezer's recent history and decline.  It's all pretty standard "they aren't what they used to be" Weezer fan lamentation stuff.  One thing that caught my attention:

All this subtext is pushed to the forefront of Weezer’s latest LP, Everything Will Be Alright in the End. The album plays like an extended apologia to wearied long-term followers, a conciliatory box of chocolates packaged as a “return to rock” nostalgia move. "Don’t want to pander to the masses anymore," Cuomo pledges on "I’ve Had It Up to Here"...

Just as I was reading this paragraph, I was listening to Everything Will Be Alright In the End (EWBAITE) and that exact line from "I've Had It Up to Here" played.  Freaky.

In this opening ramble most of what Hyden says isn't very controversial among Weezer fans, but he gives a one line review of EWBAITE that I wanted to address:

What’s different on Everything Will Be Alright in the End is that Cuomo has stopped trying to reinvent Weezer’s future and has moved on to reliving Weezer’s past.

He then goes on to assert that this is depressing.

I could not disagree more.  I do not think EWBAITE is the sound of Weezer retreading their past.  Rather, it is the sound of them linking with their past in order to evolve and move forward.  Songs like "The British Are Coming", "Foolish Father", and the "The Futurescop Trilogy" have notes in them (much like a good wine has "notes") that remind you of Weezer's early days, but you would never have found those songs on Blue or Pinkerton.

Way off base, Hyden.  Like - you got caught stealing by the pitcher - off.

Then he starts with the albums, live shows, b-side, and everything else.

*note*  The italicized quotes are Hyden, the bold text and explanation is my assessment of his assessment.

His thoughts on Weezer (1994):

It’s the best guitar-pop record of its era, hands down.

Rated Right.

His thoughts on Pinkerton:

It’s obviously great, but in my mind it will always be inferior to the Blue Album, which is not how history seems to remember it. Therefore, I must declare it to be ever-so-slightly overrated.

Rated Right.  In fact, I'm starting to wonder if Hyden is just copying my articles on Weezer because our opinions are very close so far.

His thoughts on Weezer (2001):

The Green Album makes you feel so fine you can’t control your brain, possibly because your brain is on sleep mode.

He means that in a good way.  Rated Right.

His thoughts on Maladroit:

...it is riff-centric near-metal that out-Kisses any Kiss record released after 1978. 

He says the album is underrated, which I agree with, but he gives the album a little too much credit as Weezer struggled to identify their sound with Maladroit.  Hyden called EWBAITE a failed attempt to do what Maladroit accomplished, when in truth, it is the other way around.  Rated Right - Then Wrong.

His thoughts on Make Believe:

The awfulness of Make Believe tends to be overrated by those who haven’t experienced the true dregs of Weezer’s discography.

He calls it underrated.  Hyden really goes to bat for Make Believe, and it does have a few good songs ("Haunt You Every Day", "This is Such a Pity") but he labels the sophmoric "Perfect Situation" as their last great single and sites "We Are All on Drugs" - maybe the worst song in the entirety of the Weezer catalogue - as a quality song.  Rated Wrong.

His thoughts on Weezer (2008):

Is the Red Album a joke or just incoherent? Either way, it made me feel like an asshole for liking Weezer.

Hyden hates this one.  I think the problem here, a problem that many people run into when judging Weezer's Red album, is that they ignore the bonus tracks.  The album proper is pretty ho-hum and "Heart Songs" is pretty crappy (though I don't think it is "The worst Weezer song of all time" as Hyden states), but the bonus tracks are fantastic.  "Pig", "Miss Sweeney" and "It's Easy" are some of the best songs Weezer put out in the last 15 years.  For Hyden to ignore this can only mean he either wants to hate Weezer or he has never heard the bonus tracks.  Either way, he has comitted a mortal sin.  Rated very, very Wrong.

His thoughts on Raditude:

So the Red Album didn’t make you feel like an asshole for liking Weezer, huh? Here, this ought to do it.

Ratidude is Weezer's worst album, but again with the crapping on Red.  Rated Right.

His thoughts on Hurley:

Hurley doesn’t look so bad in comparison to the Red Album and Raditude. With a different album cover, it might’ve even been considered a minor comeback.

Hyden calls it underrated.  He's so close, yet so far.  Ignoring the repeated digs at Weezer (2008) he appears to call Hurley Weezer's best album since Maladroit or at least Make Believe.  In this sense he calls it underrated, because while bad it's not that bad.  I (mostly) agree, but here's the problem:  most Weezer fans who have listened to it have the exact same opinion.  Hurley is rated right by fans and Rated Wrong by Hyden.

His thoughts on Death to False Metal:

Death to False Metal isn’t as dire as might be expected. Then again, I had never heard “I’m a Robot” before last week, and I don’t intend to ever hear it again.

He calls it Rated Right in that it is largely ignored.  I have to say, I'm surprised he even included this album.  Rated Right.

How can Hyden say no to this face??

His thoughts on Songs From the Black Hole:

Like so many “lost” albums, Songs From the Black Hole is more intriguing as an idea than as a record. Pinkerton is unquestionably stronger.

Hyden calls it overrated but takes the time to point out that certain tracks from this aborted Weezer album are real classics of their catalogue ("Devotion", "I Just Threw Out the Love of My Dreams"). Hyden simply makes the honest assessment that while these songs center around the peak of Rivers Cuomo's mythos, they don't quite live up to the sum or their hypothetical parts.  Rated Right.

His thoughts on B-Sides, Unrealesed, and Outtake Tracks:

The narrative with each new Weezer album always includes the part about Cuomo writing approximately 492 new songs and winnowing the backlog down to 10 just-right tracks. His vault of material is immense. (The Alone compilations apparently only scratch the surface.) But if we’re talking non-album Weezer tracks, only three songs (and four ladies) matter: “Susanne,” “Jamie,” and “Mykel and Carli.” Any list of Weezer’s 10 best songs must include these tunes, or else that list is irrelevant. Honestly, I would trade all but two or three Weezer albums just for those songs.  Properly rated.

I included the whole segment he wrote.  Wonderfully said (except for "Jamie", not sure I'd put that in the top 10).  Rated Right.

His thoughts on Weezer's Live Show:

Weezer either plays songs I enjoy like it just woke up from a coma, or songs I hate with the ferocity of coked-out accountants cutting loose at the karaoke-themed office party.

Hyden has apparantly seen Weezer twice.  I've seen them eight times through the years.  I've witnessed the full evolution of live Weezer.  While they're music has been dimisinished returns for the better part of a decade, they're live show has gone along the exact opposite trajectory.  It is a lot of fun.  The one thing he gets wrong:  they DO still play the hits.  In fact they play more tracks from Pinkerton than they ever did 15 years ago.

His Thoughts on the Music Videos:

Buddy Holly: overrated

Sweater Song: underrated

Keep Fishin': properly rated

First "Buddy Holly".  I don't know if he has something against the song, but this is a great music video.  Period.  Rated Wrong.

Second, "Undone (The Sweater Song)".  I don't know who would call this underrated, but I'm certainly not going to argue with them.  Rated Right.  *FUN FACT* the two guys in the hallway at the beginning of this video are wearing gravity boots and are actually upside down.

Third, "Keep Fishin'".  Not sure why he chose to review this video, when others were far more popular ("Beverly Hills", "Hash Pipe").  I think he just thought he could get a good joke out of it.  He kind of does.  Rated Right.

His thoughts on Matt Sharp's legacy with the band

Sharp disputed songwriting credits on the first two albums, filing a lawsuit in 2002 that was settled out of court. But any suggestion that his creative contributions would’ve significantly changed Weezer’s direction seems bogus. Weezer will always be primarily a vehicle for Cuomo’s songs, for better or worse.

The real void Sharp left in Weezer concerns his unofficial status as co-frontman...

Rated Right - Then Wrong - sort of. He calls fans' persistent theories of Sharp's importance to the band and connection to Weezer's decline overrated.  I agree with this.  Then he says that he was the one guy in the live show that had any sort of spark.  Not completely untrue, but the video he uses as an example that features Cuomo standing like a statue and Sharp jumping around like a maniac is a poor one since Sharp was trying to compensate for the fact that Rivers had a broken leg at the time and was performing in a very painful brace.  How do I know all of these things about Weezer!?!?

His thoughts on Ric Ocasek's Contributions

But the evidence that Ocasek is a magic bullet isn’t very compelling, considering the albums he produced after the Blue Album — the Green Album and Everything Will Be Alright in the End — just get progressively worse.

Two things are becoming abundently clear.  Steven Hyden does not like Weezer's awesome new album and at some point, Ric Ocasek stole his girlfriend.  Rated Oh-So Very Wrong.

His thoughts on B.o.B.'s "Magic" and Rivers Rapping

First of all, the Treblemakers did it better. Second of all, Rivers Cuomo rapping on a ubiquitous pop hit was unfortunate but inevitable

It hurts so much, but it's true.  Rated Right.

His thoughts on Patrick Wilson's Frisbee Skills

He's impressed.  And rigthfully so.  Rated Right.

His Thoughts on the Weezer Cruise

I get that Weezer wants to work it out with its fan base, but sometimes divorce is nobler than seasickness..

You know, I get that the Weezer Cruise is lame, but Hyden is unnecessarily cruel here.  Shame on you sir.  I know my Weezer parents will be together FOREVER!!!!  Rated Wrong.

So, in conclusion, not a bad effort by Hyden.  There was a lot here I liked, a lot of good truthful rating going on.  Doesn't quite have the snark down yet.  He has more missteps than I would have liked but hey, I'm the master, next to me everyone is going to stumble now and again.  If I could give him one piece of advice it would be research, research, research.  The worst parts of this were when he rated something improperly based on faulty or incomplete information.  Also, give Everything Will Be Alright In the End another listen, Steven, it is pretty damn good.

Random Music Review: Linkin Park

Who are the once and future messiahs of rock n' roll, Linkin Park?  I think not.

What's in a name?  Is it supposed to be Linkin Park, like a cool way of saying "Linking" like, "Yo, we be linkin'"?  Or is it the Nu-Metal spelling of the name Lincoln? Like in honor of our nation's finest president?  You know, Rutherford B. Hays.

I won't get on these guys too hard, because they were the class of the Nu-Metal genre back in their heyday.  Still, being the best Nu-Metal band is kind of like being the king of the booger eaters.

They also were the epitome of what you should listen to in you basement while you drew in your sketch book while wearing JNCO jeans and drinking Mountain Dew.  Just look at this music video...

Much like Kajagoogoo, Linkin Park were kings of their day. But, also like Kajagoogoo, they're lame now.

But here today, gone tomorrow.  Tragically, nu-metal has fallen out of the mainstream and so has Linkin Park.  While I won't call them overrated as they are mostly forgotten in the sands of Billboard time, they accured far too much fame in this lifetime to ever be considered underrated.  So, Linkin Park, I guess you're Rated Right.

Bands on the Run Revisited: The Bands Who Would Be Kings

The Year was 2001.

The Show was VH1's Bands on the Run.

The butt was glued to the couch.

I loved watching every minute of this show during the summer before my sophomore year in high school.  Having mastered the art of playing guitar while singing probably only about 2 years before, I was at the peak of my ambitions with my own future, inevitable rock stardom.

It was a fun show that gave music fans a fly on the wall (or at least, what seemed like one) view of what it was like to try and make it as an indie band, hustling from gig to gig around the country, politely informing bar patrons the No, you do not know any Offspring covers.  A solid show with a repeatable formula.

But it was never repeated.

That first season was the only one we got.  And none of the four bands on that first season ever went further in fame than their time on the show.

What happened?

13 years later, I did a little research and downloaded 3 of the 4 bands albums from the time to see how their music holds up today.

Josh Dodes Band

You really only need two words to describe Josh Dodes Band musical stylings: Ally McBeal.

The first band eliminated from the show and upon revisiting their music, it is no mystery why.  JDB sounds like every band on 1996 college radio had an easy-listening jazz fusion baby.  If you had Ben Folds, Counting Crows, Hootie and Blowfish, and Dave Matthew's Band but less edgy.  There's definitely a Walking in Memphis, Piano Bar style to their sound.  Like they belong on the soundtrack for the movie The Firm.  Even in 2001 they must have sounded dated as hell.

Still, everyone in the band is clearly very skilled and from what I can tell from a Google search Josh Dodes is still active as a solo artist and studio musician.  Even if I'm positive they suck right now, I look forward to my 60th birthday when I'll revisit their album, "Get Up", and love it's smooth sound.

Best Song: Be My Friend, But Be Naked

Lasting Memory: Thinking all of their songs sounded like rejects from Rent.

Recommend?: No.

Harlow

It's hard to remember much about Harlow.  It doesn't help that their music is almost impossible to find (they were the one band I couldn't recover an album to listen to).  They were an all girl group.  They looked like goth but had a sort of grungy sound.  They seemed like a bunch of alcoholic fuck-ups on the show but had a spunky attitude.  No one seemed to like their music and they were soundly defeated in the battle of the bands that saw them kicked off the show.

I was able to recover one song from youtube, "Still Haunting".  Which has a distinctly similar sound to Smashing Pumpkins (and more tellingly, Hole).  It's not awful, but nothing to get excited over, and definitely shouldn't be a band's best song.

Sadly, for Harlow, their greatest legacy aside from Bands on the Run, is being part of the punchline in a David Cross joke.

Best Song: ???

Lasting Memory: One of the members flirting with an Englishman only eventually leave him behind shouting "I think you're cute but I won't sleep with you because I heard Englishman are crap in bed."  Classy broads, Harlow.

Recommend?: No.

Soulcracker

Now we're getting into the quality of Bands on the Run.  Soulcracker were, for all intents and purposes, the villains of the show.  They were talented and fun loving, but they came off as a bunch of arrogant, corporate minded, jerkoffs.

The primary objective for bands on Bands on the Run was to make money, and in this area Soulcracker were unparralled monsters of efficency.  I don't think there was a single week that they weren't atop the leader board for money raised.  They were smarter than the other three bands combined, the only problem was, they knew it.

The focus of most fans' ire was band member Beastie Ulery.  Who's main occupations in the band were trash talking, selling merch like a mad man, obnoxiously jumping around on stage, and I think playing the trumpet once.  In a very interesting article I came across, lead singer Sutton Althisar defends Beastie (along with how most of the bands and their members were portrayed on the show) saying VH-1 tried to play up small things and minor conflicts for ratings.  That is undoubtedly true, but in the moment Beastie was a total dick, and no one, not even the members of his own band liked him.

A face all too easy to hate.

Soulcracker's sound is a kind of pop punk/post-grunge hybrid.  Something about them definitely reminds me a lot of Blink-182 and Sum-41 although thet aren't nearly as pop or catchy.

The two bands they most remind me of are Sublime and Home Town Hero.  The Sublime connection is more in spirit than sound, but it is undeniable.  Home Town Hero was another post-grunge band from the west coast active in the early 2000s.  I would say Home Town Hero was a little more polished and radio-friendly, but both definitely occupied the same place on the dial.  

While their dated sound makes it hard for me to recommend their album, At Last, for You, I will admit I don't hate it and it is possessing of the quality to grow on you with repeated listens.

Best Songs: "Greatest Generation", "Two Little Boys"

Lasting Memory: I always thought the band's decision to not attempt to raise money leading up to the final battle of the bands against Flickerstick wreaked of Producer's influence.  Had they raised enough they could have rendered the final battle of the bands pointless.  But they didn't and then they lost the battle of the bands and lost the show.

Recommend?: Free Download Yes.

Meanwhile, check out what they look like today... wow.

Flickerstick

When Bands on the Run finished it's first season with Texan indie-rockers Flickerstick crowned champions many suspected foul play.  It certainly is a possibility.

The objective of Bands on the Run was to make money.  The entire time on the show, the bands were told repeatedly that the band that raised the most money would be awarded first place and all that came with it at the end (a major label showcase, 50k in prize money, 100k in guitar center equipment).  Them was the rules, that is, until the final episode when the two remaining bands - Soulcracker and Flickerstick - were told that there would be a final battle of the bands worth $5,000 for whichever won.  For Flickerstick, who were trailing Soulcracker in merch sales by a whopping $3,000 it was a life line.  For Soulcracker, who had worked their butts off for three months, it was a death sentence.

Flickerstick had already attracted interest from VH-1 for a show about bands featuring siblings (two of the members were brothers).  When Bands on the Run came along, Flickerstick was selected and some believed that the other bands were merely cannon fodder thrown in at the last minute so they could be knocked down on Flickerstick's road to stardom.

Let there be no confusion: Flickerstick was the best band on Bands on the Run.  At the time they would have fit right in on a modern rock station with a sound somewhere between the Goo Goo Dolls, Bush, and early Radiohead.  They were by no means great, but they were fun and catchy and still have a few songs that hold up strong to this day.

There's no question VH1 wanted viewers to root for Flickerstick.  Unlike the other bands featured, Flickerstick were never shown taking cheap shots at their competition, they were too preoccupied with their own drama. Portrayed as a group of lovable ne'er do wells, Flickerstick were a sort of quixotic bunch of drunks that just couldn't quite get it together enough to ever really make any money.  They were the mixture of talent and self-destruction that rock n'roll has romanticized over and over again.  They would skip gigs, cheat on their girlfriends, sleep late and party early, but it was all forgiven when they got on stage.

Like all the other bands from Bands on the Run, they have since broken up, and also like the rest of the bands, their high-water mark came and went with the show.  They recorded one major studio album, and their one lasting legacy is a live album recorded in 2002.

They may not have found the fame and fortune that VH1 promised them, but for one summer, Flickerstick was everything.

Best Songs: Smile, Chloroform, Direct Line to a Telepathic (live recording)

Lasting Memory: Lead singer Brandin Lea flipping out on bandmates in the van after they wouldn't stop arguing about something.

Recommend: Yes to their live album, Causing a Catastrophe