Newsies

I haven't seen Newsies in probably 11 years.  But in that time I've really struggled with my opinion on it.  When I first saw it, I thought it was pretty great.  Back when you played 4-square without a beer in your hand and the tile floor in the basement was an ice rink (Dibs Scott Hamilton!).  Since then, Newsies has gone to hell and back again as far as personal judgement.

I guess my opinions have evolved something like this...

Ages 0-10: Awesome!  Santa Fe.  Spot Conlon.  I want to be a newsie too! (Or is it "newsy"?)

Ages 11-14: Newsies?  What's that?  Anything with singing and dancing in it is totally gay and I would never watch something like that!  Did you see that Ken Shamrock-XPac fight last night?

Ages 15-17: Alright, its cool again!  Right there with "Tailspin" and the Passover episode of "Rugrats".

Ages 18-20: Kind of fuzzy...

Age 21 - Present: (After seeing clips on youtube) Christian Bale, really not the world's greatest dancer.

It really is a tough call, this one.  The story is pretty hokey, some of the songs are ridiculous, but then, it does have the king of New York in it.

Hail to the King, baby.

I can't call it overrated, its not popular enough.  Its too flawed to be underrated.  Truth is, cult status as a guilty pleasure is the best the newsies are ever gonna get.

So Newsies, I guess you're rated right.

You tell em' Billy.

It Ain't Easy Being Dane Cook

I'm a stand-up comedian. And if there is one thing I know about comics, its that they hate dead crowds, couples that make out through your whole show, Carlos Mencia, and Dane Cook. Dane Cook is the go to dump on comic for any given situation in stand up.

Things aren't going well? Wanna make fun of the guy who went on before you? Dane Cook is the answer. He's always doing that with his fingers. What the eff is that supposed to mean? Retardedness To be honest, part of me wants to defend the guy. Because I really do think his first album, "Harmful If Swallowed", is pretty decent. I mean, its not George Carlin, but it gets the job done.

But when it comes down to it, Dane really is a victim of his own success. He just got too big for his talent. It was the perfect storm. Cook's material pandered directly to college kids just at the time when file sharing on campuses was in full swing. He's got jokes about Kool-aid and Slip-n-Slide and he spreads like herpes in Paris Hilton's phone book.

Before anyone knows it, they guy is the obnoxious side-kick in crappy raunch-coms and he's got an HBO special. This is about where the shit really started to hit the fan for Mr. Cook.

His limited talent began to show in a big way.

Even when he started appearing on t.v. shows to promote himself he almost exclusively did material from his first album, a tell tale sign of a lack of material. His second album was a huge disappointment, and he turned out to be a pretty horrible actor.

Since then, Daney boy has suffered a pariah label that a comparison for can scarce be found in the modern comedy world. Even guys like Larry the Cable Guy get enough respect to be left alone and since Carlos Mencia's show got cancelled the world seemed to just forget about him.

I'm not saying he isn't deserving of a lot of his criticism. I hate most of his stuff as much as the next frustrated comic. But if you asked me if I would trade careers with him... I'd say yes faster than Dane can take his shirt off. So this is a tough call. With compelling arguments, by me, on both sides... I'm going to be forced to say: Dane Cook: You're Rated Right!, wow.