Jurassic World, Star Wars, Terminator, Teaser Trailers for Teaser Trailers and 2015: The Year of the Franchise

Unless you hate the internet or are Robin Williams' chracter from Jumanji you've seen both the new teaser trailers for Jurassic World and Star Wars: Episode VII.  Well today, we've got another one.  Not a teaser trailer, but a teaser trailer for the teaser trailer.  This time for the upcoming 5th installment to the wayward Terminator franchise: Terminator: Genisys (actually its a reboot, but whatevs).

Yeah, that's right, there isn't very much to see.  For a franchise that has been unable to find its mojo ever since 1991, fans seem pretty wary.  Regardless of the film's quality, this pre-teaser marks a trend for big tent pole films that is dangerously close to becoming a staple of big budget films.  With Jurassic Park and Star Wars setting the precedent it would appear that movie studios are very close to finding yet another way to cash in.

For years now, the quality of trailers have gotten higher and higher.  It is the norm for trailers to feature exclusive music score and dialogue.  Completely mediocre movies have had heartstopping traielrs (Man of Steel).  It would be no stretch at all to see websites start paying big bucks for exclusive rights to certain trailers (at least, for the first few weeks of their release).

Hollywood has approached a time in their history when making a good trailer can actually be just as lucrative as making a good movie (Man of Steel grossed over 668 million dollars).

Hunger Games 4, the search for even more money.

2015 is likely to be a big year for the box office.  Between the aforementioned films, the final Hunger Games, Avengers 2, and yet another James Bond movie it is likely to be one crowded summer action plate.   So brace yourself for total saturation of the trailer for the trailer of the trailer.  I can deal with all of these unorginal, over long, nice looking but mostly hollow action adventrues, but I just ask that I am spared the absurd hype machine surrounding them.  I could call them Overrated but that won't save me from them.  Next summer is going to be very noisy and I'm probably not going to spend much time at the movie theater... except for Star Wars, I'm so excited to be disappointed by that shit.

Jurassic World, Deep Blue Sea... With Dinosaurs?

When I was probably around ten years old I was your average American boy, in that, I really liked dinosaurs and sharks.  I also had big dreams of being a screenwriter.  I wrote a lot of little stories and mapped out other, grander tales but I rarely shared them with anyone.  One Thanksgiving night, with the whole family gathered in the living room my older sister started asking me to share one of my ideas for a movie.  I didn't want to, not being incredibly confident in my artistic abilities and realizing also that most of my ideas were pretty half baked, but she would not relent, insisting that she wouldn't make fun of me.  So, finally I told her and some of my other family members about an idea I had that involved an open ocean aquarium type place that studied sharks and was also open to the public.  Through a series of mishaps, the sharks get lose in the facility and mayhem ensues.  Needless to say I was mercilessly mocked for this idea (particularly by my oldest sister), as it was seen as a blatant rip off of Jurassic Park only with sharks.  The whole experience was very upsetting.

But lo and behold, a few short years later there was a little movie called Deep Blue Sea.  It was remarkably similar to my original idea, right down to the shark whispering character played by Thomas Jane.

Well, it seems Steven Speilberg also saw Deep Blue Sea.

Despite a trilogy that pretty much had the sole message of People+Dinosaurs=Disaster, the first glimpses of Jurassic World have been unveiled to the galaxy.

It is hard to say thus far what to expect from this movie, it might be really cool, it might be Kingdom of the Crystal Skull part two.  One thing that is pretty clear, however, is that movie's plot seems to be suspiciously similar to Deep Blue Sea.

Seeing as how Deep Blue Sea is a rip off of Jurassic Park they wouldn't have to do very much to make the movies more alike, but it is as though the makers of Jurassic World watched Deep Blue Sea, took what little they could find that was distinct about it, and inserted it into their screenplay.

Lets break it down from what we know from the trailer.

Deep Blue Sea:

- Scientists breed genetically modified sharks in an effort to cure Alzheimer's.  A side effect of this is that the sharks become highly intelligent.

- The super intelligent sharks at one point eat another shark.

- The sharks get lose in a power failure and run amuck.

- There is a hot female scientist (Saffron Burrows) that arrogantly thinks she can play God with wild animals.

- Their is a cool, shark whisperer type character (Thomas Jane) that the other characters look to for leadership.

My Awesome 10-year-old screenplay

- Everything above minus the female scientist and Alzheimer's thing, plus facility is open to the public.

Jurassic World

- Everything above but swap "shark" for "dinosaur", probably minus Alzheimer's angle.

Literally, everything from above.  Chris Pratt is playing the velociraptor whisperer and Bryce Dallas Howard is the sexy mad scientist.  There's even a scene in the trailer of a prehistoric sea creature eating a shark (possibly meant as an eff you moment to Deep Blue Sea).  There is no reason given why they are genetically modifying the dinosaurs in the trailer, but it is likely there is some sort of hypothetically beneficial reason similar to the Alzheimer's thing.

Deep Blue Sea, Sexy ScientistSexy Scientist, Jurassic World

So, with all of this, my question is: why?

Is it all just a crazy coincidence?  Did they just hope no one would notice?  Did they do it purposefully to shove it in the faces of the makers of Deep Blue Sea?  Did someone raid my old writing journals?

I'm fine with whatever the answer is as long as we get a scene with Samuel L. Jackson giving an impassioned speech while sitting on a toilet only to get suddenly chomp'd by a T-rex.

Who are the Top 5 All-Time NYC Rock Bands?

Everyone already knows New York City is responsible for producing a lot of fantastic things.

Pizza.

Liberty.

Brooklyn Lager.

The list goes on.  Of course, music has always been entrenched in NYC culture.  Jay-Z, Miles Davis, Simon and Garfunkel are all products of the greatest city in the world.  But what about rock n' roll?  And no, I don't mean Steely Dan.  I mean actual distortion loving, frontman wailing rock bands.  Well NYC has those too.  And Rated Wrong is now going to take some time out of its precious Sunday football watching time to inform you on the 5 greatest rock bands to call NYC home.

*Criteria Key:

- Quality

- Influence

- New York City-ness

- Level of fame

- Musicianship

Honorable Mention

Kiss

The ultimate salesmen of rock n' roll, Kiss are the Walt Disney of music (and Gene Simmons is Mickey Mouse).  All of your senses will be bombarded and everything is for sale.  If this was a list of the most recognizable NYC bands, they'd have a strong argument for #1, but ultimately, Kiss don't measure up in musicianship, influence or the hits to make the top five.  Their greatest song about New York, "New York Groove", isn't even a Kiss song (It was on Ace Freely's solo album).

#5

Talking Heads

The late 70s into the early 80s were dark times for rock n' roll.  Fleetwood Mac, The Eagles, Huey Lewis and the News made up the very pinnacle of rock.  Fine bands all, but anytime you say "Fleetwood Mac is the biggest rock band on the planet"  that's a bad day.  While the nation was suffering, however, the New York City rock scene was flourishing.  Talking Heads was a band that didn't have much national fame, but their quality would endure for years to come and their influence remains strong in rock music today for bands looking to the push the artistic envelope.  Also, bonus points for trailblazing the "woman bass player" look.

#4

LCD Soundsystem

The only band on this list that wasn't around when Richard Nixon was president and without question the greatest band to come out of The Big Apple in the last 25 years.  Strictly speaking, LCD Soundsystem's classification as a rock band is a little tricky.  Truthfully, classifying LCD's rock/electronic fusion sound at all is pretty tough, but the power on tracks like "North American Scum" and "Give it Up" is undeniable.  Combine their impressive catalogue with that groundbreaking musical style and you end up with James Murphy's brain child being the #4 all-time NYC rock band.

#3

New York Dolls

Robert Christgau's all-time favorite band.  The New York Dolls helped usher in the era of punk in New York with their searing 1973 self-titled debut album and rough, wild attitude.  A feat so greatly influential to rock music that they can be forgiven for also being a primary cause to the rise of glam rock.  Heavily influencing the likes of The Ramones, Kiss, Ryan Adams, and Guns n' Roses, the New York Dolls are not only one of the top five New York City bands ever they may also be one of the most all-time influential rock bands anywhere.

#2

The Ramones

The students have become the masters.  No one would ever call the Ramones talented musicians or nuanced song writers.  What they were:  4 guys from NYC with loud guitars, catchy lyrics, and the ability to play their instruments very very fast.  The Ramones perfected a look and sound that would come to define punk rock for decades.  Playing songs that might have been pop hits if they slowed down and weren't about Nazis and the Klan.

#1

The Velvet Underground

Was there ever any doubt?  Between John Cale's musicianship and every single thing about Lou Reed no one was ever going to challenge The Velvet Undergound's place atop the mountain.  Although they never achieved wide reaching fame while together they made their mark on music, influencing a multitude of artists and coming to define the detached, cool attitude that is the very spirit of New York City.  During an era of incredible musical experimentation, no one else sounded like the Velvet Underground.  The Velvet Underground have been often been described as being ahead of their time, but this is incorrect, the Velvet Underground changed the future of rock music.