How to Survive New Years in New York City

New Years is right around the corner.

Ugh.

New year, same old cluster fuck.

No matter how well you plan, it always turns into a disaster culminating in a walk home where you're asking yourself, "why?"

Show up someplace with your friends at 11pm, it's kind of lame but you don't really have time to get anywhere else before midnight so you decide to stick it out.  You scan the room looking for a hot single somebody that you might be able to hook up with but the only person in the very crowded bar or party that doesn't have a date other than you is that very same person who want stop jabbering in your ear.  You manage to get separated from your friends and spend the first 7 of the 10 second countdown looking for them before you tell yourself fuck it and give a half hearted "happy new year" to some random couple making out next to you.  Then, when you do find your friends at least one of them has managed somehow to get completely shit faced so when you attempt to find somewhere else to go you go between trying to keep them from belligerently shouting at everyone they walk by and waiting for them to piss in some alley.

Well, I'm not promising that this year will be any different for you but if you follow my guidlines you can at least minimize the damage.

Don't Do It

Just don't.  Any of it.  It's not worth it.  You're not going to get laid.  You're not even going to get a proper anonymous make out sesh.  All you'll get is a hangover the next day and healthy dose of regret.  Still set on venturing out into the night?  Okay then...

Stay Away From Times Square and Other Tourist Hell Holes

For God's sake.

Don't Swing For the Fences

You try to go big on New Year's in NYC you will go home a failure.  Aim small. Go to a party where there will be less than 50 people, and you know at least half of them.  No party invites?  Go to a bar within walking distance of where you live, or at least no further than five subway stops and go with just one or two friends, big groups equals a big headache.

Don't Bar Hop Before Midnight

You're at a party at 11pm but its kind of lame, you're at some bar but its too damn crowded.  Stick it out.  After the 10:30 threshold, by the time you are able to round up everyone in your crew and find another place you'll be knocking on midnight and stone sober.

Pace Yourself With the Booze... Or Not

The worst thing for New Year's midnight rolling in and you find yourself already too drunk to walk straight.  Not only does it make your life difficult but you don't want to force your friends to babysit you the rest of the night.  But on second thought, if you don't do it, one of your friends will.

Wait Til After Midnight to Bail on Your Friends

If you do find yourself with a big group on New Year's it can become a hassle keeping everybody happy. Don't bail on them early, but after midnight it might be a good idea to go your own, break off with a smaller group of friends, or head out with some new friends you might have made.  Loyalty is important, but life is to short to be miserable, even with friends.

Look like this the next day? You should be so lucky.

Don't Try to Hook Up With Anybody

Just a good general rule to follow whenever you go out. Let love (and by "love" I mean probably a one night stand that will result in no further communication between parties besides a few friendly texts the next day) find you. A lot of people are desperate on New Year's, that means that you don't have to be.  If you go out trying to have a good time, you just might.  If you go out trying to get laid, you're probably going home disappointed.

So that's it.  That's what I got.  If you must go out on New Year's Eve, be safe and follow these guidlines.  You might just wake up the next morning not regretting the way you ended the last year.

Who are the Top 5 All-Time NYC Rock Bands?

Everyone already knows New York City is responsible for producing a lot of fantastic things.

Pizza.

Liberty.

Brooklyn Lager.

The list goes on.  Of course, music has always been entrenched in NYC culture.  Jay-Z, Miles Davis, Simon and Garfunkel are all products of the greatest city in the world.  But what about rock n' roll?  And no, I don't mean Steely Dan.  I mean actual distortion loving, frontman wailing rock bands.  Well NYC has those too.  And Rated Wrong is now going to take some time out of its precious Sunday football watching time to inform you on the 5 greatest rock bands to call NYC home.

*Criteria Key:

- Quality

- Influence

- New York City-ness

- Level of fame

- Musicianship

Honorable Mention

Kiss

The ultimate salesmen of rock n' roll, Kiss are the Walt Disney of music (and Gene Simmons is Mickey Mouse).  All of your senses will be bombarded and everything is for sale.  If this was a list of the most recognizable NYC bands, they'd have a strong argument for #1, but ultimately, Kiss don't measure up in musicianship, influence or the hits to make the top five.  Their greatest song about New York, "New York Groove", isn't even a Kiss song (It was on Ace Freely's solo album).

#5

Talking Heads

The late 70s into the early 80s were dark times for rock n' roll.  Fleetwood Mac, The Eagles, Huey Lewis and the News made up the very pinnacle of rock.  Fine bands all, but anytime you say "Fleetwood Mac is the biggest rock band on the planet"  that's a bad day.  While the nation was suffering, however, the New York City rock scene was flourishing.  Talking Heads was a band that didn't have much national fame, but their quality would endure for years to come and their influence remains strong in rock music today for bands looking to the push the artistic envelope.  Also, bonus points for trailblazing the "woman bass player" look.

#4

LCD Soundsystem

The only band on this list that wasn't around when Richard Nixon was president and without question the greatest band to come out of The Big Apple in the last 25 years.  Strictly speaking, LCD Soundsystem's classification as a rock band is a little tricky.  Truthfully, classifying LCD's rock/electronic fusion sound at all is pretty tough, but the power on tracks like "North American Scum" and "Give it Up" is undeniable.  Combine their impressive catalogue with that groundbreaking musical style and you end up with James Murphy's brain child being the #4 all-time NYC rock band.

#3

New York Dolls

Robert Christgau's all-time favorite band.  The New York Dolls helped usher in the era of punk in New York with their searing 1973 self-titled debut album and rough, wild attitude.  A feat so greatly influential to rock music that they can be forgiven for also being a primary cause to the rise of glam rock.  Heavily influencing the likes of The Ramones, Kiss, Ryan Adams, and Guns n' Roses, the New York Dolls are not only one of the top five New York City bands ever they may also be one of the most all-time influential rock bands anywhere.

#2

The Ramones

The students have become the masters.  No one would ever call the Ramones talented musicians or nuanced song writers.  What they were:  4 guys from NYC with loud guitars, catchy lyrics, and the ability to play their instruments very very fast.  The Ramones perfected a look and sound that would come to define punk rock for decades.  Playing songs that might have been pop hits if they slowed down and weren't about Nazis and the Klan.

#1

The Velvet Underground

Was there ever any doubt?  Between John Cale's musicianship and every single thing about Lou Reed no one was ever going to challenge The Velvet Undergound's place atop the mountain.  Although they never achieved wide reaching fame while together they made their mark on music, influencing a multitude of artists and coming to define the detached, cool attitude that is the very spirit of New York City.  During an era of incredible musical experimentation, no one else sounded like the Velvet Underground.  The Velvet Underground have been often been described as being ahead of their time, but this is incorrect, the Velvet Underground changed the future of rock music.

Gentlemen's DisAgreement - 7/27/2014

Very excited about this pod installment folks!

In this round of Gentlemen's DisAgreement, Marcello Musumeci sits down and talks about life in Brooklyn, being a New Yorker, and gentrification.

It's all Brooklyn all the time this episode, with a quick round of Your Opinions!  at the end.

Enjoy!

Listen Here!