Brooklyn Vocabulary to Match Taylor Swift's New York Vocabulary.

Breaking News:  Taylor Swift is in love with New York City.

And before the inevitable breakup and subsequent top 20 single about it, she wants to share that love with all of common folk out there, in as awkward a way as possible.

In the video below, she tries to educate the average joe and janes on the world in the terminology of New York City.

In this painfully contrived cross branding campaign with NYC tourism, Swift reads some words hesitantly off a cue card in one take.  Everything about it is pretty painful for anyone that actually lives in NYC (only assholes say "Noho").  It did insipre me, as a resident of the greatest city in the world, to share some important terminology one should know if they ever want to visit the borough of Brooklyn.

"Kings County"

Starting off with an easy one here.  Kings county is Brooklyn.  Like Queens county is Queens, and Richmond county is Shaolin.

"South Brooklyn"

Not to be confused to southern Brooklyn, south Brooklyn is the area south of downtown Brooklyn.  Hoods like Carrol Gardens, Boreum Hill, and Park Slope all help make up south Brooklyn.

"In a minute"

Now, most people are probably thinking, "Hey, we say this too."  Nope!  Anytime someone's saying "It's been a minute" or "I haven't been there in a minute."  They're saying, "It's been a lot of minutes".  Like the exact opposite of a New York minute.

"Pie"

Here's a little language lesson for all you monogloids, "pizza" means "pie" in Brooklyn Italian.

"Hipster"

You know, some of you might think you've got hipsters where you live.  You don't.  Brooklyn is the capital, the Mecca, the one and only place you can find true hipsters.  It isn't just about the clothes you wear, or the music you listen to, its about the lifestyle.  Hipster is one of those words that people use to describe people that isn't necessarily an insult but everybody always means it as an insult.  Most people deny their hipsterdom and if they don't they're usually a massive douche.  Suffice it to say, if someone from Brooklyn is calling you a hipster, you probably are one and they probably don't like you.

Note the pleasure the subject takes at the smell of his own farts.

"Word"

Truth.

"Bougie" or "Bougey"

Slang from the word Bourgeoisie.  Despite its origins it refers to a certain type of upper middle-class citizen becoming more and more common in Brooklyn.  Bougie people are nice, and they like nice shit.  Got a bodega?  Now its a organic grocery.  Got a dive bar?  Now its an artisanal pizza and wine bar.  Shit is extra Bougie in south Brooklyn.

Bougie people LOVE their huge ass baby strollers.

"Go take a ride on the G train."

Go to hell.  (No one says this, but they should).

"Corner Store"

I've been living in Brooklyn four about six years and somewhere along the way I started calling bodegas "corner stores".  Maybe its because no one that runs any of these places are ever hispanic, I don't know.  Everyone knows what I'm talking about when I say them, but I'm not actually sure if anyone else uses this phrase.  Note:  They do not have to be on a corner.

"Prospect Park"

The greatest park in any city anywhere.

"Yo"

Can literally mean anything.

"Fuggedaboutit"

Translation: "You're a tourist".  No one from Brooklyn actually says this anymore.  If someone says this to you, they're mocking you, yo.

So that's it.  Hopefully this guide will help you survive your next trip to the borough of kings.  We out!

Gentlemen's DisAgreement - 7/27/2014

Very excited about this pod installment folks!

In this round of Gentlemen's DisAgreement, Marcello Musumeci sits down and talks about life in Brooklyn, being a New Yorker, and gentrification.

It's all Brooklyn all the time this episode, with a quick round of Your Opinions!  at the end.

Enjoy!

Listen Here!

What Makes a New Yorker

Lets say it's Friday night, no, early Saturday morning.  You're out.  Out in the coolest neighborhood in the coolest city in the world:  Williamsburg, Brooklyn, New York, New York.

You're at some trendy bar or nightclub and you're talking to a cute girl, maybe she's 22,23 years old, and she's talking about how she loves New York, and loves Brooklyn, and loves her cute little cat named Mr. Bojangles.  

Then you ask her where she's from and she says, Brooklyn.  No hesitation, no consideration.  She knows she's from Brooklyn.  

Then you ask her what high school she went to.  This time she stops to think, she stutters, and finally,

"uhh, Montclair."

That girl is not from Brooklyn.  She's not from New York.

But who is from New York?

She says she's from New York City...

Every year, thousands of people move to New York City.  They live here, they work here, they pay taxes here.  But, they're not "from" here.  Unlike most other places in the world, there is a certain pride in being "from" New York City.  It matters, so you can just move into a studio apartment, unpack a cardboard box and start calling yourself a New Yorker.  It needs to be earned.  This much, most people can agree on.

At what point you earn it?  That's not so clear.

Never.

Some people think like that old lady from Jaws, if you weren't born here, you're not from here.  Not ever!

You're not bourn here, you're not frahm here. End of Storrry.

Now, while this answer is simple, it creates quite a few problems.

- What about people from other countries?

- What about people who moved to the city as young children?

- What about people born in NYC but don't live there anymore?

Long story short, this answer helps to blow up native New Yorkers' egos triple-size but it doesn't make much sense.

You're a New Yorker after you've lived here for X amount of time.

I like this one, at some point you just have to draw the line.  But where is that line?  1 year? 5 years? 10 years? It's too subjective.

You're a New Yorker if you have a baby that's a New Yorker or you married someone that is a NATIVE New Yorker.

I have no problem with either of these.  The only caveat is that you need to self identify as a New Yorker.  So if your hubby is from Astoria but you always introduce yourself as a small town gal in the big city... you might not be a New Yorker.  Which leads us to our next requirement.

You're a New Yorker if you have never lived anywhere else in the U.S.A. and you self identify as a New Yorker and ONLY a New Yorker.

A lot of first generation immigrants like to call themselves New Yorkers but then still have their native country's flag plastered to the side of their minivan.  Having pride in your heritage is fine, but New Yorkers are all or nothing type of people.  You can't have your cake and eat it too.

A New Yorker is like a pie, no matter what you put on it, its still a pizza. Except pineapple, fuck that.

So who is a New Yorker?  Are you a New Yorker?  Am I a New Yorker?  Probably not, yet.  I still usually explain where I'm from by saying "Live in Brooklyn, originally Connecticut."  But if I was on Wheel of Fortune I'd tell Pat I was from Brooklyn and if I rescued a kitten from a burning building the New York Post headline would be "Brooklyn Man Saves Burning Pussy."

There are a lot of different ways you can slice it.  But whether or not you go with original or Sicilian just remember the variety is the beauty of it.  One of the best things about New York City is that there's so many people from so many places.  Dozens of cultures all rolled up into one super culture.  Everybody is completely different from the person next to them on the train, but they're all New Yorkers.

Now, what d'you think, this side walk was made for you?  Get outta the way!