Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World is the Most Amazing Thing I Have Ever Seen In My Whole Entire Life!

There are certain films that stand out in time, that speak to a generation. Back to the Future, Clueless, The Breakfast Club, I hear that M*A*S*H* is one.  Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World is now on that list.

It didn't get much hype.  The trailer is kind of ho-hum.  Michael Cera is starting to get a lot of backlash for always playing the same cowardly, awkward, wuss in everything.  But this movie will rock your socks right out of the theater!

Michael Cera might be a dork, but Scott Pilgrim is no Nancy!

I never imagined a film could epitomize the "Life as a video game" concept so completely and so perfectly.

Not everyone will be able to fully appreciate the shear and total genius of this film but anyone who ever played Zelda or Super Mario as a kid is sure to get it right away.

Really four games should be considered prerequisites for Scott Pilgrim viewing.  Two are the aforementioned games of the Zelda and Super Mario series'.  The others are the games of the Marvel Vs. Capcom series and, the somewhat rare gem, Gitaroo Man (which I happen to own).  In fact, the whole story is kind of a parallel to the Gitaroo Man story.

I just think this picture is awesome

Honestly, everything in this movie is awesome.  The story is expertly told, the characters are great, it's clever, it's fun, it's very funny, the music is kick-ass, there's a ton of cute girls, and Michael Cera is probably the least annoying he's ever been in anything.

The entire sequence with Brandon Routh (who nearly steals the movie) which also features a classic double cameo from Thomas Jane and Clifton Collins Jr is especially amazing.  Here be a link to a music video with scenes from the movie.

I've been shouting this movie's praises from the mountain top since I've seen it and I have yet to meet anyone who fully believed me.  I say to that:  Fine, don't believe me, see for yourself.  Scott Pilgrim truly is the perfect movie for anyone who has ever held a joystick.

Do I even need to say it?  Underrated!

Chopsticks

No not that song (does anyone even actually like that?), I'm talking about the...erm... "utensil".

 Holy #$%^ they replaced her boob with rice! Japanese people. (I really didn't want to use this picture but it was seriously like the only one on the internet with a person and chopsticks in the same shot).

Now, I understand that writing this immediately after the "Battle Royale" post is a risky play.  Not even a week after I lock up the entire Asian blog reading market I'm blowing it, but hey, I can't play favorites, I call em' like I see em', and China hasn't attempted to buy me out yet (Ehem, What is taking you so long!?).  

So chopsticks are going down!

I don't hate chopsticks or anything, I just think they're a little silly.  Being nifty with a pair of chopsticks impresses people and I'm actually pretty good at using them, but beyond a novelty, chopsticks are completely impractical.  To paraphrase Jerry Seinfeld, you don't see anyone trying to pick up leaves with a pair of pool cues.

At least they aren't Phantom Menace chopsticks

I get people defending them as a cultural thing, but its not like chopsticks is an art form and even if you argued that it was that doesn't excuse virtually everyone in China, Korea, Japan etc. using them exclusively over forks and spoons.

When something comes along from another culture that is far more practical and easier to use than something you have, you throw away your crap and adopt the new method.  You think Native American warriors kept using spears and bows after they got their hands on rifles?  Well, okay, maybe some did but good luck finding those guys, cause they're all dead, cause that was like 600 years ago or something.

Get with the program chopstick users!  Of course, I'm one to talk, here in America where we are still using inches and quarts.

Even so, America is not on trial here!  Chopsticks, you're overrated.

Okay, I have a hard time picturing a fork and spoon being more useful for this...

Tim Burton

I once thought Tim Burton was a genius, then I turned sixteen.

His hair wasn't always crazy, but his teeth were always bad.

I don't want to completely hate on Tim Burton.  He's got some good flicks.  I like Ed Wood, Big Fish, Beetlejuice is alright, and of course Pee Wee's Big Adventure is a timeless classic.  Yes, Burton has accomplished a lot since his modest days as the host of "Goth Talk".

But lets be real, this guy gets way too much cred for his quality.  It's like he is continuously trying to remake Edward Scissor Hands (from 1990!) every time he gets behind the camera.  

Every one of his movies is a little dark, a little whimsy, has a lot of people dressed in dark clothes looking very pale, and Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter acting "quirky".  Okay, not everything he makes is like that, sometimes he is ruining Planet of the Apes with Marky Mark.

Let's see, stay and be king of all humans with a super hot wife and probably anything else I want OR fly through a worm hole that will take me... somewhere. Hmmm, well guess I should get going! Oh and one more thing, I like the ape lady better!?

His movies always do really well in the B.O. and get pretty strong reviews, so I'm not going to try and deny he has talent, but if he is going to tell an off beat story he could at least make it original.  His last three movies wereCharlie and the Chocolate Factory, Sweeney Todd, and Alice in Wonderland.  All three of them remakes and all three of them look exactly the same.

Are you really being original if you just make everything look unusual yet exactly the same?  Look at Stanley Kubrick.  The Shining, Clockwork Orange, 2001.  All twisted and great, and all unique.

Ah, it seems like only yesterday.

So this and the fact that Kevin Smith does a pretty good job at making Burton seem like a prick (one of the only things Smith does well these days) and you'll excuse me if I don't go crazy over this guy's next movie.  Tim Burton, you're Overrated.